Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
