eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
