I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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