I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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