Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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