Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize