wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize