He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
My life is pants optional.
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