You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
