woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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