did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
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