There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Randomize
