mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
