just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
