so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
