I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
