This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
hell yes lets make some ravioli
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Randomize
