I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize