I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
All I want is dick and wine.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
