Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize