So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
