im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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