i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
