hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
farters have to be the big spoon...
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize