im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize