ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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