Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
