You're my little dorito
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
