Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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