dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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