She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
40s are totally the cure
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
