Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
