If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
