So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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