fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
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