She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
