So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Damn victory sex feels great
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
