I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
