You're completely useless in the revolution.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
