i don't plan on having that self control this summer
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
