so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
