1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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