I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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