singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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