More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize