could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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