i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
