scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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