Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
