if i can run in heels then i can drive
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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