whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize