I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
