I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
