I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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