God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
