I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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