Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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