I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
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