Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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