used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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