Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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