around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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