Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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