i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
