the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
