No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
