The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
