so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
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