i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
