can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
