At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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