If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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