Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
she peed on how many people?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
