When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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