At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
