Only a mothe r could love this liver
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
