I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I want a musical about memes.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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